…whose comment I refused to publish on the never ending thread – More on husbands and their ‘entitlement’ to sex (the follow up to the now closed for comments “Your husband has a right to expect regular sex“) left a charming comment for me recently in my pending comments folder. So I’m reproducing it here for your delectation, to once again illustrate the quite stunning levels of misogyny those of us who regularly blog about feminism and women’s issues are exposed to.
Enjoy:
“Lol, afraid to post my posts. Typical scared little girls who can’t handle the truth, and you wonder why men don’t take you seriously, lol. Keep hiding in your “safe space” you dumb little victims, eventually we’ll smoke you little manipulators out, who are big enough to dish it out but not big enough to take it.
xxx you stupid femi-hag. Men don’t spawn children – women do. Women are greedy little fuck holes who exist to have children and raise them – evolution has determined this – and who are barely above the mental level of a child themselves. That is why men even keep women around – for fucking, for babies and caretaking duties – otherwise you are simply whiny, greedy, unproductive, manipulative, semi-child-like little parasites that have no other value. Also, in the age of feminism men don’t legally own our own sperm once we have ejaculated into you – women do – and they do with it as they choose. Your body, your choice, your responsibility. lol.”
I’m not sure what that ‘lol”s doing at the end there. Or the one at the beginning either. Perhaps the poor guy’s got a nervous tic or something.
Too Much To Say For Myself 
Wow.
Just wow. That is pure hate isn’t it.
i keep trying to write something longer but am a bit speechless.
I feel ever so slightly nauseous after reading that. What an obnoxious specimen of the archetypal poisonous, misogynistic little shit.
And that, right there, is why we need feminism.
Disturbing.
Someone has some serious self esteem issues! Don’t think I’ve read anything quite so pathetic for some time.
Just imagine this guys life. I’d be gobsmacked if he had a girlfriend with that amount hate coursing through his veins. Christ, I don’t think a male partner would find him that fun either.
I imagine he’s distrustful of women, so female friends are out. Female co-workers, especially the ones that have been promoted above him also make him angry. I can imagine him pounding the armchair in fury whenever a female politician, journalist, medical expert or business figure comes on the TV, cos how could these fuckholes get a job that’s better than his?
What a sad empty little life he must lead.
Although there is a part of me that just thinks, “Aww, bless: he think’s he’s people…” the larger part of me is exasperated at the sheer number of people -mainly men, I dare say- who would be nodding mutely at the toxic opinions he’s (just about – albeit contradictorily and incoherently ) expressing.
Like Daily Mail readers, people who buy anything from a TV auction channel and adult fans of Justin Bieber, most are too ashamed to admit publicly to their predilections: they, alas, are the ones to watch out for…
The ‘Lol’s’ are hilarious; like some demented evil laugh to open and close his little piece of hate-theatre. That’s one big step down the road from Misogyny to Madness isn’t it? Perhaps if he’s going to accuse us of being scared little girls, he should be brave enough to tell us what he plans to do to us once he’s ‘smoked us out’? Mwahhahahaha… etc.
I bet his Mum’s proud.
Just wanted to say that I am a man and I am appalled by this. That shouldn’t really need stating, but I’d like to think those of us who aren’t misogynistic pricks don’t HAVE to be tarred with the same brush as this pathetic waste of space.
Just think how tiny its penis must be, and it probably doesn’t work properly. I for one don’t care, I hope it shrivels right up like his brain already has and drops off completely, serve him right.
Jesus! Someone give this guy a hug or something! Seriously, seriously disturbing. What the hell has happened in this man’s life that has made him turn out like that? I hope to god he doesn’t have children of his own. I don’t normally bother commenting on things like this but this…. yeah…. just…. wow.
@mai: “Just think how tiny its penis must be, and it probably doesn’t work properly.”
You just lost the argument.
G of W makes a fair point.
Nobody will dispute that the horrific, misogynist comment which we are discussing is vile and contemptible but what really intrigues me is the identity of its author.
Lets think of him as ‘Mr Lol’.
Mr Lol could be a bullied teen at a high-school somewhere, or he could be a bored office worker like me (with vastly different attitudes), he could be any young male. He could be a young male in your office.
Like the Daily Mail readers I (and I’m sure you must also) know, who never publicly express opinions in line with the editorial opinions of that disgusting rag, these people (probably) know the social unacceptability of their views and hide in plain sight. The internet and its façade of username anonymity allows them to vent.
But what to do about it? Anonymity must remain a cornerstone of the ‘net but perhaps not on serious issue blogs, ‘cos of people like ‘Mr Lol’ and the Astroturfers ruining it for the rest of us.
Thing is, he might not be like this at all when he’s living his life: the anonymity of the web allows him to vent all the hugely unpleasant things you couldn’t actually say to a co-worker or ex.
This sort of thing isn’t to do with feminism. Feminism’s about the structural inequalities and ideologies perpetrated by a society that misunderstand’s women: this guy is a screwed up loser who is never going to be leading any political debate. Though I’m obviously not saying he isn’t a vile sexist!
The lol’s are probably meant to be smirking? Difficult to pull off online and very creepy. It’s good that you published this and didn’t just keep it to yourself. Disgusting man!
Jeff Fuson
No-one is saying all men are like this. In fact, Cath said on twitter ‘most men don’t think like this’.
Unfortunately some do.
But no-one is tarring all men with the same brush. We’re just saying that attitudes like his are highly disturbing and distressing.
As has been pointed out to me on Twitter, I should of course have let it be known that this guy posts under the name Vish876.
And a quick google search of his user name turns up this comment from him on another blog:
Thanks for posting this man’s hatred and contempt for women because unfortunately too many women still refuse to accept that many, many men do hate women and/or hold women in contempt. But what usually happens is such men do not express their hatred and contempt to women as a group in person, instead they engage in vile vitriolic diatribes via the internet. Why? Because the internet allows men who hate women to write their diatribes with no negative consequences.
It matters not a jot that not all men are like this contemptible misogynist – what matters is that there are many men who believe they are the only human beings and women exist solely to serve men 24/7.
Remember we all live in a male supremacist society and such views as this misogynist’s are not ‘isolated incidents’ rather they are rife, which is why feminists are constantly subjected to sexualised insults and slurs because it is essential male supremacy must not be curbed or even eventually eliminated.
Remember dominant society members (aka men) do not want to read/hear the truth because it challenges their pseudo male right to dominate and control women. Also remember that other nasty misogynistic claim which is regularly expressed and that is ‘women are responsible for all society’s ills, problems.’
Just take a look at malestream articles focusing on women because unlike men we must constantly monitor our behaviour/attitudes/beliefs etc. in order to meet male-centric definitions of the appropriate woman. One who according to male supremacist never expresses an opinion unless it is to concur with the ‘great men,’ never to challenge men’s attitudes and always to constantly praise and bolster men’s egos.
The male oppressors will never critically analyse their own prejudices and hatred because to do so would eliminate male domination and that is why the oppressed group has to challenge the dominant group. White male supremacy cannot be challenged by white male supremacists rather it is the women and men of colour who have to hold white male supremacists and their minions accountable. Same applies to male supremacists – they have to be constantly challenged or failing that – just use the delete button.
Don’t be fooled by this misogynist’s baiting because he just wants his 5 seconds of ‘pseudo fame.’ I’ve been subjected to such male baiting and it is not worth wasting time and energy on lost causes.
But equally women should be angry and call out such male hatred and contempt for women. Why are we constantly expected to reassure those men who do not hate men – we have more important issues to work on than constantly reassuring men ‘I know you are not like that misogynist.’ Expressing our anger at such male hatred towards women means we are not floormats whereby men can wipe their feet over us because ‘no human was harmed.’ We have rights too including the right not to be subjected to vile, vicious lies from women-hating males.
Human dignity and respect is not accorded to the minority of the human race – despite this misogynist’s claims.
I assume that most men actually do think like this. Their actions of blocking women’s freedom for thousands of years I think speak louder than words. Since IRL I never hear men express public outrage over sexist jokes, I never hear the condemn rapists, I never hear them get outraged at how women are treated in offices they work in with them, I assume that men simply don’t give a damn. When I hear them speak up in social situations, call other men on the carpet for sexist remarks without ME having to point this out all the time to the pin heads, well I’ll believe then that most men “don’t think like this.”
Of course they do.
P.S. I am tarring the male colonizer class, tarring and damning them all. I’m just so sick of what they have done to women worldwide, and the silence they reveal every day to me. Men are essentially social cowards when it comes to calling other men out.
Perhaps if he’s so bothered about owning his sperm he should keep them to himself?
Just a thought.
Absolutely and maybe call them George I, II, III, IV and so forth. And love them and hug them and keep them for his very own!
The mysoginist, hate fuelled, non human quite clearly has some serious mental health issues.
Most violent rapists have been found to treat women as objects, but I am not labelling this person as such, just stating an observation made by Doctors and the Police.
I have three degrees, have written books, successfully ran two businesses, boiught two children up on my own, taken part in ocean racing and have a Black Belt in Shotokan karate. I would like to invite ‘the charming man’ to my house to repeat his comments to my face. But he had better bring a bodyguard with him.
I don’t think anyone is saying that we need constant reassurance that women don’t hate all men. Well, I’m not anyway. But, when the words of one moronic, hate filled, luncatic (who in my opinion still needs a hug) are attributed to me:
“When I hear them speak up in social situations, call other men on the carpet for sexist remarks without ME having to point this out all the time to the pin heads, well I’ll believe then that most men “don’t think like this.”
Of course they do. – SheilaG
… I feel I should speak out. I don’t think like this. My brothers don’t think like this. And I mean my actual brothers here. My friends don’t think like this. I don’t want reassurance that you don’t actually hate all men, I just need to know that you can at least see the irony in your own argument. A man… an idiot…. has an opinion (and yes it is a vile and deeply offensive opinion) about all women, … so you respond with arguments about “all men”?
James Masonry – but most of us aren’t responding with arguments about ‘all men’ or saying ‘all men do this’. I don’t understand why men get so defensive when women call out sexism. They want cookies for going ‘oh well, i don’t think like that’. We get it. You don’t think like this. But this man does and sadly we know that a lot of men are violent towards women and have hateful, violent thoughts towards women. Otherwise we wouldn’t have 100,000 women being raped every year, whilst most rapists get away with it. Or 2 women a week murdered by their former or current partners etc etc.
I’m really pleased that you and your fellow male associates don’t think like this guy. But it isn’t really the issue.
Miriam Said – i get a bit uncomfortable when people say men who have these opinions must be mentally ill. Maybe he is. But we don’t know that. It suggests that you have to be mentally ill to hate another group or commit violence against them, which you don’t have to be. It also suggests that hating people is a symptom of being mentally ill. Which it isn’t. It’s too easy to label nasty people as ‘crazy’ and as well as being disrespectful to people who are mentally ill, it kind of excuses the behaviour of someone who is very hate filled and verbally violent as being an illness. Helen Wayte wrote a good blog on this in response to the cat lady incident.
Sorry if that wasn’t your intention I just think we need to be careful with the way we talk about hate and mental illness.
I would just like to say to the women contributing to this discussion, female equality is not a woman’s problem. I am very comfortable with being equal. The argument was won a long time ago. If some men are still unable to get their head around it, it is their problem not ours. Harriet Rubin in ‘The Princessa’ (her response to Machiavelli’s ‘The Prince’) put it very well when she said, that if women act and behave as if there is no glass ceiling, then there is no glass ceiling. Men either get with the program or settle for being ignored. It is up to them. ‘Charming Man’ whether mentally ill or not is simply attention seeking and best ignored, and his views consigned to the dustbin of history where the belong.
sianushka – I’m not actually saying that you are ALL responding with arguments about all men. I was responding to two specific posts. I don’t want a medal for not being sexist. The same way that I don’t want a cream egg every time I don’t make a racist remark. I’d get really fat. I completely agree with you that this isn’t the issue though. I’m not suggesting for a second that there aren’t horrendous atrocities committed against women throughout the world on a daily basis, or trying to marginalise them in any way. I guess I was just saying to the people that DO think all men are like this, that we aren’t. And yeah maybe that is me getting defensive. But I would get just as defensive if someone said all black people are this, or all people who are from Gateshead are that.
I don’t want a prize though. Unless it’s a really good one.
Christine Marie; it’s great that you feel the argument has been won. If only it were true. Sadly, when I take my daughters to the newsagent and have to turn over the Sport, cover up Nuts and Zoo (this stuff still being at child eye-height incredibly), I am being reminded of how far we’ve yet to go. Is this the society you believe is equal? The one that portrays women as objects for male amusement? Perhaps you feel I should be showing my daughters’ the reality of it all in order to show them a variety of career choices?
The Harriet Rubin reference is just, well, irrelevant. Would she have stood up in front of a WSPU meeting in 1903 do you think and said “if women act and behave as though they have the vote, then they have the vote?” Or how about: “If women act and behave as though they are asking for rape, then they are asking for rape?” The Princessa starts from the position of recognition that women have always been exploited; you’ve picked just one of her stances that in reality has little to do with the original comment here.
The comment under discussion here is vile. It has an unconcealed violent tone. For the very many of us who have been on the receiving end of physical, sexual and verbal abuse at the hands of men who have been able to abuse a position of power, it is cause for concern; hence the discussion.
For women to move from abused to a feeling of true, unafraid equality would be fantastic. Sadly, the attitude of the man under discussion – and many like him (and I include the watered-down attitudes of the tabloid media and the nastier elements of exploitative capitalism) – means the journey for very many women is longer and more complex.
I should probably be encouraged by your comfort with equality, instead I just feel down-hearted that you don’t recognise the reality of the situation for women.
Sianushka; I think you make an important point about mental illness, noted. I do believe though that this is a first line defense of many women when under attack. We should be encouraged to a degree that the reaction probably comes from a desire to put this particular man in a different category from most decent men and not from any disrespect to those with mental illness. My initial reaction was to laugh at the sad little squirt and want to sling a bit of shit back his way. I think it’s just a normal reaction to save us from actually having to quantify or deal with the reality of abuse, which this most certainly is.
Wonder if he calls his mother a fuck hole too. We had similar responses at Equality Now following a campaign against Japanese rape games. Pathetic, small, little men.
I think this man has an overbearing sense of male entitlement, like too many other men (which may not be many but too many nonetheless).
@James – you hug him. Don’t expect any woman to. Not even his mother.
@Kate + a gazillion.
I bet his Mum’s proud.
Well ten to one he’s still living with her, so…
I agree with you Sheila, while perhaps not every last man on Earth thinks this way, there is nothing remotely unusual about it. And the few that don’t are just drops in the ocean; they make no difference to actual women-as-a-class’ life conditions.
James – I hope MY actual brothers don’t think like that either. And I’m fairly sure they don’t.
However, the fact remains this kind of stuff is often represented as normal male behaviour by the likes of Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Littlejohn, those two blokes off sky sports, Nuts and Zoo Magazines, et al. So it’s a significant cultural strand. And I’m certainly not giving him a hug, though he clearly has issues, and I should think at the very least some anger management training would be appropriate.
Yeah let’s hear it from Cliff:
Got myself a crying talking sleeping walking living doll…
Wind her up too much though and you get ….this charming man.
http://www.westerncanadabusinesslitigationblog.com/defamation/defamation-and-libel-meets-twitter/
##
It’s a field of interest Cath, and I’m sure your nearest law school libel prof would love to hear from you.
Oh yeah Valerie. She probably just opened the basement door and yelled down “It’s your bedtime. Shut that *%$ thing off.”
The lol? It can be keyboarded with one hand. Junior’s sex life.
Not much point suing someone without significant assets though Jilla.
Hmm. Interesting that the discussion gets round to considering if most men think like this or not. FWIW, I don’t think most men do think like this.
– Unfortunately, I think it’s because most men don’t really think about women much at all -or at least not in any way that is meaningful, political or analytic (… not that I’m saying Mr Charming is any of the above – but for all the pitiful venom and sense of entitlement, he is actually engaging in the argument, albeit at the level of insult…)
Active hatred and spite is hard to deal with, but it’s a known, visible menace. The passive acceptance of the patriarchal status quo is far harder to deal with as it is unquantifiable, immeasurable and yet oh so pervasive and destructive.
We have so far to go, no wonder I wear comfortable shoes…*sigh*
Kate – when you go to the newsagent and find offensive material, scoop it up and take it to the counter and tell him you find it offensive and you will be using his shop any more unless he puts it somewhere else.
Original comment: scary. Probably so scary because what he is spluttering is pretty mainstream opinion, just a bit ramped up. It’s easy to see that he is rabid, but when your boss/MP/dad/Jeremy Clarkson says the same things (probably not all at the same time) we’re supposed to, what, take it on faith that he isnt a flying scumbag through and through?
@jamesmasonry
Shut up now. Yeah, not all men are vicious misogynists, and not all cheesecake is of all the same quality, and not all films are the same length, and not all dogs are the same colour, and not all hats are berets..
The important issue here, james (may I call you james?), is not that your feelings were outraged by the claim that most men think like this. The fact that you think that the most important thing, about which you just have to ‘speak out’, is that we are unfairly tarring some men with a misogynistic brush, is proof that you should shut up now.
If you genuinely do think: ‘I completely agree with you that this isn’t the issue though’, just be quiet about it. You’re not enlightening us, you’re not bringing balance to an otherwise wildly ill-informed debate, you’re not saying anything we haven’t heard a thousand times before. ‘But not all men are like this!’ you cry indignantly.
Yeah yeah, pipe down james; we know.
As I have always thought, Misogyny= Male insecurity, and that ‘boy’ reeks of it!
I can only imagine he has failed to maintain healthy loving relationships and takes the easy cowardly and may I say, lazy, option, which is to blame ALL women for his ills etc, rather than growing up and sorting his obvious problems out.
When you think of the awful and cheap lads mags that are filling up shelves in almost every supermarket and corner shop, I find it amazing that men who buy that rubbish can’t see that they are buying into a misogynistic way of behaving and thinking. Funding it, keeping it going.
Too many inadvertently defend men by saying such disgusting ones must be mentally ill, but the reality is that rapists and murderers measure as “normal” men on psychological tests. Considering most females have been sexually assaulted by male family, it does seem like it’s almost all men.
I’m a Lesbian Separatist and have just started a blog —
http://bevjoradicallesbian.wordpress.com/
And I will be adding more writing soon.
Anyone else had a “deja vu” when reading this? I had the feeling he was referring word for word to what “authorities” used to unashamedly say about women in the 1800.
Pure hate – probably. Pure inadequacy – definitely. Pity the woman in this person’s life (if there is one).
@emilyblunt Jesus! What’d I do? I don’t remember ever saying it was the “most important thing” about this discussion, or that I was in any way “outraged”. The only thing I was outraged at was the initial comments that this post… atctually, you know what… never mind. Can’t be arsed.
James, as a male, you should read a feminist blog to learn about feminism and to understand how women experience the world. You should definitely not comment about how you feel about things from a male prospective. Enough said.
The guy does sound bitter, but on the plus side his comment did raise a few chuckles. The sentiment is so OTT it’s funny, like some of God’s speeches in the old testament. And he is pro-choice at least.
@EmilyBites
Telling someone to “shut up” on the internet is daft. Everyone is entitled to their say and there are enough of pixels to go round.
Projection, much? And that alpha/beta/omega bullshit, srsly. He does realise that men create social heirachy therefore he should venting at men but no that’d be too dangerous wouldn’t it? Coward