Hat-tip to @bellamack for bringing Brian McFadden’s new date rape anthem to my attention. Brian likes drunk girls apparently, and can’t wait to get them home so he can “do some damage” and “take advantage”
Enjoy:
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Too Much To Say For Myself 
I couldn’t bear to listen to all of it. How, how, how can producers mix that shite and then promote it? Misogyny is alive and well in the music industry – hold the front page! And why is this even allowed?
You have to be fucking kidding me?
And the song/music is completely crap as well.
Oh well, perhaps he will be accused of rape one day and they can use this as evidence of his rapist’s mentality at the trial.
Well I’ve never really forgiven him for his stupid hair, stupid beard, but most of all ‘real to me’ with its reference to drinking ‘English tea’ – a paean to the joys of family life shortly before he left Kerry Katona and ran off with Australian whatserface.
So I don’t really need another reason to hate him, and can’t bear to listen to the song. Anyone care to summarise?
Oh it’s in metro.
http://www.metro.co.uk/music/856627-brian-mcfadden-under-fire-for-date-rape-song
Thing is, even if this song is just a song written for his girlfriend, the lyric “I can’t wait to take advantage” is condoning taking advantage of a person who is drunk. It doesn’t matter if they are their boyfriend, having sex with someone too drunk to consent is rape, and illegal, and makes you a bastard and I don’t care how much of an “Evil Sex Hating Feminist” that makes me.
And if it isn’t a reference to rape why the’police mugshot’ graphic?
Maybe he was anticipating how he would get prosecuted by the feminists for releasing this single…
It is interesting, that graphic. But lots of people use that idea in pop vids.
As far as I am concerned it’s just about his girlfriend-and may include a ‘rape fantasy’. But many couples enjoy acting out ‘rape fantasy’ so what’s wrong with singing about that? I also know for sure that many people take advantage of each other when drunk. That is partly what alcohol, and nightclubs are for.
Yes indeed many men aka ‘people’ take advantage of women when they are drunk and rape them but that is not the issue. The issue is this so-called pop singer believes its fine to sing a song promoting male sexual violence against women . That is the issue and given the issue is about men’s sexual violence against women what do we hear? Why we needn’t concern about McFadden’s views because he is only supposedly referring to his girlfriend who he views is just a dehumanised sexual service station and therefore he is entitled to commit sexual violence against her. After all ‘damage’ means something or someone will hurt and I don’t think McFadden was referring to his person suffering harm.
No worries she is just a disposable girlfriend and we can ignore fact many men subject their ‘disposable girlfriends to sexual violence’ and like McFadden believe such acts of male sexual violence are not violence but just normal male sexual entitlement. Then we wonder why so many males continue to commit rape and sexual violence against women. Has nothing whatsoever to do with our misogynistic culture which is now blatantly women-hating.
No it is just another instance of a white male singing about eroticising male sexual violence against women and because he eroticises said male sexual violence against w0men that supercedes the immense harm and pain men routinely inflict on women. Sigh
I don’t know what any of you want to achieve by going on about this or any other song by a man about men’s sexuality.
Do you have an aim in mind or are you just venting?
I don’t know what you want to achieve by going on about this or any other piece on a feminist blog about the trivialisation of rape QRG.
Do you have an aim in mind or are you just venting?
lots of people use that idea in pop vids
Examples?
I don’t want to speak for Cath, but I don’t equate ‘men’s sexuality’ with rape personally. It’s interesting that you do though QRG.
No, I don’t equate men’s sexuality with rape either Polly.
As for “going on about this”, isn’t that what blogging is all about? I could just as well ask QRG why she ‘goes on’ about all the stuff she ‘goes on’ about on her blog. But I’m guessing our answers would be pretty similar – we ‘go on’ about things to raise awareness of an issue or to provide others with a space where they can discuss an issue; we ‘go on’ about things because we’re interested in hearing other people’s opinions on them, or we ‘go on’ about things because we feel strongly about them. And yes, sometimes we even ‘go on’ about things because we just feel a need to vent – is that a crime now?
Do you object to us ‘going on’ about things QRG? Are you the Internet police now? I suspect not. Because actually if we didn’t ‘go on’ about things it would leave you with pretty much fuck all to ‘go on’ about yourself.
Well somebody has to Save the Males from us Cath, let’s face it.
But it is a good question QRG. Do you actually do anything in this Big Society of ours, to help the poor downtrodden men, other than complaining about feminists on the internetz?
You could join fathers 4 justice for example, or whatever they’re called this week. You could become internet friends with Carl Martin, since I’m pretty bored of him by now. Your MRA’s need you, QRG!
Your MRA’s need you, QRG!
LOL.
Without QRG’s undying support, how on earth are the MRAs going to maintain female submission and rape?
Radical feminists were always accused of calling all sex, rape. Yet, it seems to be the sex-pozzie crowd that cannot tell it apart. mmm, interesting. Quite a lot of projection going on.
“Radical feminists were always accused of calling all sex, rape. ”
Indeed.
Sorry that doesn’t seem right. Fab Libber – I’m agreeing with your post. Just to clarify.
Sorry I obviously phrased my question badly.
Thanks for explaining so very eloquently and charmingly Cath.
I go on about things on my blog to yes raise awareness bu also to try and change how we perceive gender, and hopefully to bring about actual change in terms of how men, women and others relate to and perceive each other, including changes to the law and social structures.
Lady Gaga’s mugshot for Paparazzi single:
*bows.* Always a pleasure 😉
Eminem Slim Shady ‘mug shot’:
http://vhealdo.tumblr.com/post/332041650/eminems-tattoos-ronnie-rip-slim-shady-tattoo
NWA Str8 off tha streetz of muthaphukkin compton album cover:
http://rateyourmusic.com/release/album/eazy_e/str8_off_tha_streetz_of_muthaphukkin_compton/
i don’t think anyone is denying that celebs have used mugshots on album artwork in the past?
Polly asked for some examples.
apologies, didn’t notice that! fair play.
Oh well, if the NWA did it then it must be all right, mustn’t it… they’ve got nothing but respect for women… http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dee_Barnes
In Lady Gaga’s “paparazzi” video she poisons her treacherous lover – hence one would expect her to be arrested. Eminem had a song called ‘my name is’, hence a mugshot with his name also fits with the theme of the song. Not really familiar with the NWA image so I can’t comment. However in the other two the image has some relevance. What relevance does it have to McFadden’s song?
Also please note that McFaddens’ mugshot doesn’t have his name, but the title of the song. Still a weird random graphic to choose.
Lots of police references in the NWA vid though.
Mugshots are indeed used in music videos When They Have Some Relevance. They tend to not be dropped into the middle of ‘Mull of Kintyre though do they?
They probably should have been though. That song was a crime against music.
It’s not Murder She Wrote it’s just a pop song!
But did you complain about Gaga making a song about poisoning her lover at the time? Or was that ok? It shows that pop music refers to criminal acts or fantasies about ‘violence’ and sexual violence, either consensual or not. I think it is quite common.
It wasn’t a song about poisoning her lover, it was an image in the video. (After he’d tried to kill her). I complain about Lady Gaga all the time actually. But her songs/videos are clearly fantasy. McFaddens isn’t. He likes to write about his ‘real’ life, as we’ve already seen. Real to him!
jeez tell me about mull of kinbloodytyre
I worked in woolies for xmas while it was out in the charts. Endless loop and my parents were most surprised at my over enthusiastic thanks at the hankies I’d received from them on xmas day!
I can’t imagine many people listening to Lady Gaga’s song will have been poisoned by their lover dropping a substance into their tea from a ring after they’ve pushed said lover off a balcony where she appeared to be dead.
There will probably be quite a few people listening to McFaddens’ song who’ve been date raped though.
I dont know that Paparazzi song or video. I’m not a Gaga fan either.
I think the ‘realism’ makes it more interesting, although the actual track under scrutiny here really is rubbish.
Nick Cave wrote a whole album of ‘Murder Ballads’ in direct response to his critics calling him a misogynist for the way he portrayed violence to women in his songs, so maybe we should go easy on McFadden. We don’t want him to do a whole Date Rape album do we? Especially not with banjo playing.
And Eminem is often criticised for his violent/homophobic imagery (though this feminist woman loves Eminem, because I understand he uses characters in his music and it isn’t necessarily ‘him’ speaking). Many reggae/dancehall artists are criticised for homophobic imagery – personally I think there’s often a bit of racism there, since Jeremy Clarkson gets away with it ok. So yes other artists than McFadden are criticised.
I personally don’t care what McFadden does, his ‘music’ is fairly easy to avoid. And under no circumstances should anyone go easy on him.
Lol! God no, anything but the banjos!
But he should stop lying about this particular piece of shite.
i think one of the issues is this all links in to the acceptability of misogyny and violence against women in the mainstream media.
I was at a friend’s house at the weekend with music tv on in the background and was amazed to see Chris Brown with two top ten singles on the TV. Chris Brown, lest we forget, is the one who was found guilty and served a non custodial sentence for beating up his girlfriend.
Mike Tyson was trending on Twitter yesterday and had a semi starring role in The Hangover as he is now a “cult” figure rather than being remembered as a convicted rapist.
I think Brian McFadden made some fairly off colour remarks about his ex wife too.
So it seems to me that this is part of a continuum that sees vawg as something hip, fun and edgy which will make someone some big bucks. it’s something funny that will give someone a successful cult comedy career. rape is funny, rape is cool, it’s a money spinner.
Brian McFadden’s audience are young girls. They’ll listen to this and think it’s a fun pop song by a boy they quite fancy, and will imbibe the message that they’re bodies are at men’s disposal. They’re already growing up in a culture that treats them as objects for men’s pleasure.
This has nothing to do with using mug shot imagery. Nick Cave’s Murder Ballads were making a statement against accusations of misogyny and making a comment about folklore etc. This is about the continued acceptability of violence against women as something that is edgy and makes record companies money.
‘Brian McFadden’s audience are young girls. They’ll listen to this and think it’s a fun pop song by a boy they quite fancy, and will imbibe the message that they’re bodies are at men’s disposal. They’re already growing up in a culture that treats them as objects for men’s pleasure.’
I totally disagree with this statement. But there’s not much point arguing I think sianushka and I are both quite entrenched in our views.
There are plenty of studies and anecdotal evidence that suggests young people are growing up very confused about consent – resulting in horrific stories about young women not knowing whether they have been raped, as happened on a BBC phone in where a v distressed young woman asked the presenter whether she had been raped or not – her boyfriend had forced her to have sex and then have sex with all of his friends. Deborah Tolman has written extensively about young women growing up with ‘silent bodies’ – not being able to speak or inhabit their sexuality and sexual desires and being therefore vulnerable to coercion etc. Brook charity are tweeting right now about how young people are being left vulnerable because they are not being taught about consent or being allowed to experience or feel their own sexual desires. NSPCC and Bristol Uni research has shown that 1 in 3 teen girls will experience violence and/or sexual violence in their relationships, partly because they are being denied a voice to talk about and act out their own desires and because young people are growing up with a view of sexuality that excludes the possibility of women having active sexual desire. I’d really recommend the chapter in Female Chauvinst Pigs called ‘pigs in training’ about teen girls’ experiences of sex and sexuality and the performance of sexuality in high school.
So in this whole confusing atmosphere of being simultaneously sexually available and the gatekeepers of sex, as described by Ariel Levy, of not being taught about consent, not having their own desires respected or given voice, along comes a song aimed at a tween and teen market that’s about someone wanting to get their girlfriend pissed so he can shag her whilst she’s semi unconscious. It’s further confusing the whole issue of consent and whether women are allowed or have active, real sexual desires, or are just their for a man to act out their sexual desire up on.
As others have said, it isn’t feminists confusing heterosexual sex with rape but other people wanting to ‘prove’ that having sex with someone who can’t consent isn’t rape. which is nonsense. if someone can’t consent, as the someone in the song seems to not be able to do, then it’s not consensual.
Anyway, as i said before, it’s people trying to make a buck because they think rape is edgy and controversial. not something that actually harms and causes pain and distress.
well said sianushka.
It is anything BUT being ‘sex positive’ to have a muddled view on consent (and to promote such views). It is rather ‘rape positive’ though. So it’s not us hairy-legged prudes who constantly confuse sex and rape.
Like I said sianushka we are both quite entrenched in our views. you always quote statistics at me to put your point across.
I still will never agree with you! And you will never see my point of view either.
I am not ‘sex positive’ by the way.
No i doubt we will ever agree QRG. but i think it is important to quote a mix of studies and anecdotal evidence when talking about certain issues because otherwise people go ‘where’s your stats!’ or when you quote stats ‘you can’t trust statistics you know!’
you can never win!
Although i think personal experiences, stories and feelings are important to be talked about too. But i just find those studies are quite interesting and say a lot about how young women are experiencing the world, something that we, as a different generation, might not be so aware of. the experiences of teen girls with the media and representation etc is very different to my teen years 10 years ago. these studies can help us try and understand that.
Agreed.
I love studies! But I like to read them and make my own mind up. Their meaning is not obvious, usually, but is open to interpretation.
And yes we are in a different world to the one we grew up in. I doubt it is ‘worse’ for young women now; it is just different.
I adore Brian McFadden and havd loved every song he has written and sung.
What on earth is your point lynn?
Do you really think people care what YOU personally like or dislike?
Are you that self-absorbed and vacuous?
Are you 12?
This is a feminist political blog. Your personal likes are irrelevant and do not constitute any kind of analysis.
Well we all have our crosses to bear Lynn.
Looks like he’s trying to compete with Kanye West on who can be the biggest arsehole!
Just another reminder about the state of mainstream music. I can’t even listen to it, reading the lyrics is bad enough. Thanks for posting and what a great blog!
Oh I really must disagree with the feminist law professors, it’s an AWFUL tune.
“Like I said sianushka we are both quite entrenched in our views. you always quote statistics at me to put your point across.”
You do make yourself out to sound wonderfully ignorant, QRG.