Male reader writes an essay
Posted on February 9, 2011
Some people still haven’t grasped that there’s a more up to date thread on the whole ‘do husbands have a right to expect regular sex from their wives‘ issue than the one under the original post that went up on this blog in October 2009. Like this one for instance, from just a few short weeks ago.
People are still trying to post comments under the original piece, and I’m still refusing to let comments through on it from horrible/dodgy/downright-strange men who’ve never posted here before.
But I couldn’t resist publishing this next one, because once again so much work and effort has gone into crafting it it would just be mean of me not to.
So here’s Steve (a different Steve(n) from the one who’s just started posting here) with “Your husband has a right to expect regular sex part 3: the mansplaination edition.”
“I’m amused at many of the comments I’m reading in this post. All of the women here (save for Tracey Cox) seem to agree that men who expect sex from their wives are just boorish, borderline rapist a**holes. And some of the guys posting here are trying to have it both ways with their confusing, brain-twisting, politically correct comments. I suppose this is just an effort to avoid pissing off the ladies while at the same time partially agree with Tracey Cox’s view…while also making sure to throw in at the end: Oh but Tracey’s still an idiot!
WHEW! Well GOSH folks! That’s a lot to take in! Allow me to catch my breath!
Let’s try and break this down (if that is at all possible): The general theme here seems to be: Though we all disagree on many levels, we are all in agreement that Tracey Cox is WRONG, and that her advice is synonymous with saying that raping your wife is OK. Well I hate to break the news to you all, but Tracey Cox is RIGHT. Sometimes, the answer IS rather cut and dried. Sometimes the truth can be summed up very simply. Ladies…one common denominator I have picked up on over the years is that, generally speaking, many of you seem to be completely asexual these days (Or at least, very confused about your sexuality). I get this impression because I seem to hear similar “lack of sex” tales from many of my male friends, as well as from countless articles I have read. Most importantly though, I have derived this from my own wife…who has flat out admitted to me that she has no sexual urges at all anymore. (How…umm…romantic!) By the way, I think it is very important to mention here for the record that I TRY so hard for her. I’m romantic. I compliment her on her looks all the time. I tell her I love her every day. I tell her what a wonderful, caring person she is. I keep my body very clean, I always smell good for her, I workout, I jog 6 miles a few times a week and am in great physical shape. I clean up around the house, I take out the trash, etc., etc. I keep our double-sided sink empty of dirty dishes at all times without fail. I clean her dishes too. I initiate all TOUCHING: kissing, hand holding, caressing. She never touches me at all without me first touching her. She never, EVER touches me umm….well you know where. Forget sex…we are just talking basic, initial, flirtatious contact here. I try….she doesn’t. That is no exaggeration…all fact.
Ladies, like it or not, everything in the universe does not all boil down to a singular concern and respect for your “bodily autonomy”. Here in the U.S. this ridiculous obsession with a woman’s “bodily autonomy” has led to some atrocious, despicable evils, but I digress…that subject is for another post. Like it or not, as Tracey Cox stated, when you said “I Do” you did, in fact, ALSO say “I Do” to sex between you and your husband…and that neither of you can seek this from anyone outside of the marriage. Now set aside your seething anger with me for just a moment and think about that marital commitment for a moment. Try to think about it from your man’s perspective. I think we can all agree (if we are really being honest, that is) that, at least sexually speaking, this is a harder commitment for a man to make than it is for a woman. (Oh come on now, ladies….you KNOW this to be true). Again…it goes back to my conclusion mentioned earlier that you women (generally speaking) have become rather asexual creatures. Why you ladies detest being intimate with your husband when you once were intimate with him when he was your BF remains a baffling mystery to me. However, the bottom line is, you entered into a contract with your man when you said “I Do”. What’s that? You don’t like that word “Contract”? Well sorry, but that is precisely what it is. Part of that contract is the commitment to satisfying each others sexual needs. In other words, nowhere in that contract does it state: “where sexual satisfaction is concerned, there will be times when you must fend for yourself”! Really? Fend for myself how, exactly? Masturbation? Sure, sure…that beats the real thing any day! Why trifle yourself with REAL sex with a real warm-blooded woman next to you in your bed when you can just jerk off to internet porn? what about those of us who are married to women who consider this a form of cheating? What then, ladies? Any thoughts? I don’t know…sure seems like a real nasty sexual trapping to me.
Pardon me for stating the obvious, but you asked this man to forsake all others (particularly in the sex department) when you said your marriage vows….and then you turn around and tell him “No sex” for six months or longer? I’d love to ask that woman: “How willing are you to seek sexual counseling for this hang up which is clearly YOUR problem?”
Ladies…if you are not into sex with a man, then my advice is simple: do not marry a man. This is your problem to sort out, not your frustrated husband’s. Possibly the issue is that you are attracted to females and maybe you just have not admitted this to yourself yet. Soul search. Maybe what you need is to get yourself a girlfriend. Or…at the very least, stop torturing your husband, end the facade and divorce him so the poor guy can (legally) go find a woman who actually enjoys having sex with him.
While I do believe with all of my heart that there are still millions of wonderful, normal women with a healthy appetite for sex with their men….there are also millions of women out there who are guilty of pulling quite a fast one on there husbands: date him, have sex with him, marry him, then turn off the sex completely….while STILL demanding many things of him including FAITHFULNESS. Yeah…that’s fair!
Possibly the funniest part of all is that after he eventually cheats on you, you then have the gall to bash him as an unfaithful bastard to all of your girlfriends and family members. Of course the media also helps perpetuate this myth that the vast majority of these men are just that: bastards. So you go to divorce court, take half of his money and you walk away being held blameless by the court.
I suspect that many times, the woman is just as much to blame as the man in these situations…and sometimes even more so. So ladies…how about you stop telling your man to look at himself for the reasons why there is no sex and start looking in the mirror at your own dysfunction for a change?”
Blimey, that’s a lot of words. And all that just to say: “You’re wrong, I’m right, and you’re all lesbians!”