When I was doing the grocery shopping the other day I ordered us a pizza for our tea tonight. (Yes, mea culpa, I do my grocery shopping online. That’s ‘cos I hate shopping in shops: I hate shopping for clothes, I hate shopping for shoes, but most of all, I really really hate shopping for food.)

So anyway, while I was scrolling through the interminable list of food products, randomly clicking the “buy” button next to the exact same things I buy every other bloody week (imaginative cooking is not my forte ok), I saw that Tesco was selling something called a “World Cup cheese feast pizza”. “Oooh”, I thought, without even bothering to read the product information, “a new pizza, that’ll make a nice change. I bet it’s called that ‘cos it’s a big fat party sized pizza.”

So I ordered one.

The shopping was delivered last night. Turns out I was wrong.

Here’s why it’s called a World Cup pizza:

It’s got the sodding George Cross on it! A yellow one! Made out of cheese!

And that’s not all.

Look, here’s the online product information:

They’ve even given it a nickname. It’s the C’mon England pizza.

So tonight folks, I will be eating a cheese George Cross. Still, there’s a first time for everything I suppose.