I’m feeling special today, what with discovering that I’m one of only three million voters to have been sent David Cameron’s new contract.

Obviously I’d be feeling even more special if I’d had my own, individual copy, rather than having to share it with the other two voters in the house, but even I can understand that there must be some limits to Lord Ashcroft’s largesse.

Anyway, we’ve been sent the contract because at this election Norwich North is one of the top 100 marginal constituencies, which means that there’s a chance that this time the vote could go either way: Tory, or Labour.

Despite Chloe Smith winning last year’s by-election by more than 7,000 votes, this week’s election result is by no means in the bag for her. That’s partly because of boundary changes, which have seen the creation of a new Norfolk Parliamentary constituency, Broadland (not to be confused with Broadland District Council, which has different boundaries from the Broadland Parliamentary Constituency. [Confused? Not as confused as those of us who live in Broadland {district} but vote in Norwich North!]), and which have taken some of the more Tory areas out of Norwich North and thus reduced the potential Conservative vote, and also because the Labour candidate this time round, John Cook, is a much stronger candidate than the last one.

On Thursday I don’t have the same dilemma I had during the by-election over being undecided as to who to vote for, and neither do I have to worry about having to vote tactically for the Lib Dems in order to keep the Tories out. In fact, voting for any party other than Labour will do nothing more than contribute to Chloe Smith hanging on to her seat. And I’m not prepared to play any part in helping that happen.

The Lib Dems don’t stand a chance here on Thursday, and nor do the Greens (unlike in Norwich South, where Adrian Ramsay has a very real chance of unseating Charles Clarke). As for the other candidates. Not. A. Hope. In. Hell.

Especially not the odious Glenn Tingle, the UKIP candidate, who as Anton Vowl exposes on his blog today, has been responding with typical Tingle charm to questions posed on the TheyWorkForYou site, describing Afghanis as “backward tribal wankers” for instance, and suggesting that we should blow up Iran. What a lovely man….

Of course it’s not just the Contract that makes it obvious we’re in a targeted Tory area here: the record pile of letters and leaflets that preceded it gave us a bit of a clue. In fact for some reason the word “bombarded” springs to mind:

I keep looking at that ever growing pile of shite and thinking “what a criminal waste of paper”, but don’t worry, it’ll all be going in the recycling once the election’s over. And on the plus side, if the Tories are happy to waste their money on trying to woo me, then maybe it means someone else who’s more likely to be swayed by that tsunami of tut is being left alone. Well I can but hope.

So anyway, I’ll be voting Labour on Thursday in Norwich North. Not because I agree with the way New Labour have handled things over the last 13 years, I don’t; and not because I think Gordon Brown is the next best thing since sliced bread. Although, I have to say, his speech to Citizens UK yesterday was pretty fucking awesome!

But because I really don’t have choice if I want my vote to count, and because I’m old enough to remember what happened the last time the Tories were in power. Seriously, if you think things are bad now, let Cameron and his Eton cronies in and you really ain’t seen nothin’ yet.

So, at the risk of repeating myself:

Vote against Murdoch on May 6th. Keep the Tories out!