I came across this story while I was researching Eddie rape-joke Wake, and while it’s a couple of months old now and I’m a bit late in picking it up, I still think it’s worth a mention here. Let’s not forget after all that as far as Call me Dave and George Osborne are concerned, Tory councils, and ergo, our esteemed Tory councillors, are the blueprint for the (god-help-us-all) upcoming Conservative government.

So anyway, here’s former lord mayor of Coventry Andy Matchet:

Doesn’t he look grand and important in all that lord mayory garb eh?

Well he won’t any more, because Matchet was recently suspended from serving as a city councillor for a term of three months after, as the Telegraph politely puts it, “repeatedly asking a female guest at an official ball if he could have sex with her.”

Except that he didn’t repeatedly ask her if he could have sex with her, he told the female guest he wanted to have sex with her. Actually no, he didn’t even do that: what former lord mayor of Coventry Andy Matchet did do, while acting as an official council functionary, was tell an invited female guest, not just once but three times mark you, that he wanted to fuck her.

Or at least, I think that’s what he did: I’m assuming that fuck is the missing word in both the Telegraph’s and the Mail’s version of this story.

At the ball last December, the married father of two allegedly told the woman, the 45-year- old chief executive of a voluntary organisation: ‘I enjoyed dancing with you, I find you attractive. I’d like to **** you. Am I wrong in saying that?'”

What really intrigues me about this one though is Matchet’s attempt to defend himself. Apparently he remembers nothing about the incident, and claims that if he did indeed tell a woman he wanted to fuck her, the only context in which he could imagine uttering those immortal lines would have been if he’d been having an argument with her about radical feminism:

“He said: ‘I am an extremely argumentative person. It is the sort of comment I would have made as part of an argument about radical feminism.

‘I would have said it argumentatively, not invitationally”


Well I’ve spent all weekend pondering this, and I still can’t get my head around what kind of discussion/debate/heated argument he thinks he might have been having about feminism or radical feminism, where it would have been in any way appropriate to suddenly slip in the phrase “I want to fuck you,” so as a defence all I can say is it just doesn’t wash.

Rather predictably, bearing in mind he’s a Tory and a bloke to boot, the story of Matchet’s fall from grace has now taken another turn. Because far from being the pissed-up-yet-another-sexist-tory-bore architect of his own destruction, we’re now supposed to believe that Matchet’s actually the victim in this whole sorry sordid affair:

FORMER Coventry Lord Mayor Andy Matchet claims he has been discriminated against as an older man, after losing his appeal against suspension as a councillor for a lewd conversation with two women.

Awww bless, my heart bleeds for him. Not.

And not only that, we’re also supposed to believe now that the real villain of the piece isn’t the former lord mayor of Coventry Andy I-want-to-fuck-you Matchet, but the woman who lodged the complaint against him. Because (shock horror how dare she have the fucking gall!) the complainant, Laura Slegg, who was then the council’s equality and diversity officer, has since admitted to being a feminist.

And as everybody knows, feminists have only one thing on their agendas, and that’s to ruin the reputations and careers of very important men.

Here’s Les Reid of the Coventry Telegraph’s take on it:

“In November, while stating councillor Matchet’s drunken buffoonery was not appropriate for a Lord Mayor, I described 27-year-old feminist Laura Slegg’s formal complaint against him as immature, illiberal and intolerant. I’ve been castigated in remote quarters for daring to view the incident from both sides, or uttering any suggestion Ms Slegg’s feminism could have had anything to do with her complaint, which could now ruin his political career

Feminism remains a valid cause, if it means seeking equality between sexes. Women still face challenges and disproportionate exclusion from the top jobs for example. But in the wrong hands, feminism can mean sexism, intolerance and prejudice. It’s open to illiberal manipulation from some people sometimes motivated not just by a marginal political view but by their own psychology and emotions.

I have no inside understanding of former council equalities officer Ms Slegg or her motives, beyond conducting the only interview available with her. She described herself as a feminist.”

So he has no inside info on Laura Slegg, but thinks it perfectly acceptable to imply that she was motivated to lodge the complaint not because Matchet behaved like a complete fucking nob and brought both his office and his council into disrepute, but because she’s a twisted man-hating femnazi with psychological and emotional issues.


Well the meeja and ex lord mayor Andy Matchet can try and spin this any way they want, but at the end of the day they still can’t get away from the fact that Matchet did exactly as he was accused and told a female guest at an official council function that he wanted to fuck her. As such he got exactly what he deserved: any loss to his reputation or to his career is no one’s fault but his own.