I found out a couple of days ago that I’ll be having my long-awaited hysterectomy next Tuesday, the 15th September. Actually that’s not entirely fair, because while it might feel like I’ve been waiting forever, my surgery has in fact been scheduled well within the 18 week waiting time limit. So yay for the NHS.
Anyway, some of you may remember the hysterectomy information leaflet I was given a while back that contained the staggering revelation that post-surgery I’ll be a much better housewife, and much more meticulous and committed to my household chores, than I’ve ever been before:
For the first week at home you should take plenty of rest but are able to make a cup of tea, do dusting and easy household jobs. Sit on a chair when possible to reduce standing. Gradually increase household jobs e.g cooking, ironing, and using a vacuum cleaner until by 6 weeks you are back to normal…
Well it turns out that that’s not all: apparently my craft skills are also set to improve!
This is from the information sheet I got yesterday about the ladies’ ward I’ll be staying on:
What to bring with you
We would suggest: –
- Night clothes
- Dressing gown
- Slippers
- Toiletries
- Sanitary pads
- Underwear – loose fitting to avoid pressure on your wound
- Something to help you pass the time e.g. knitting, needlework, magazines, books
My first reaction on reading that was Bugger it! I can’t knit or sew, how the hell am I going to pass the time?
But now I’ve decided. I’m going to take in an Airfix Eurofighter Typhoon kit and assemble it on my hospital bed tray.
I bet that’ll bloody confuse ’em.
Too Much To Say For Myself 
Oh wow, wonder what they advise the men to bring along after boy surgeries…
A woman to look after them would be in line with the literature quoted.
Absolutely disgusting!
Seriously though, alcohol is all you will need after a hysterectomy.
The airfix kit does look kinda fun though…
But now I’ve decided. I’m going to take in an Airfix Eurofighter Typhoon kit and assemble it on my hospital bed tray.
To paraphrase Winston Churchill (May, 1901), to adopt the triple policy of equal effort, on army, RAF and RN, is to combine the disadvantages and dangers of all courses, without the advantages or security of any.
Churchill was scathing about the Secretary of War’s plan fore three army corps, “one is quite enough to fight savages, and three are not enough even to begin to fight Europeans”
That looks pretty fun! And will confuse the bejeezus out of them. A…woman…doing…model aircraft?! Does not compute!
Have you seen info here on aircraft: http://www.raf.mod.uk/equipment/typhooneurofighter.cfm
With a bit of luck they will give you a self-administering morphine drip and then you so won’t need anything to entertain you…..
I’m a bit alarmed that you need sanitary towels after a hysterectomy personally. What for?
Also underwear under your nightclothes. What?
Oh lordy. The underwear I’m assuming is to hold the sanitary pad in, and the sanitary pads are apparently needed ‘cos you bleed a bit afterwards, in fact it can go on for weeks:
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/bleeding-after-hysterectomy/AN01889
But I don’t think I’ll care, about anything, not once all the morphine and alcohol kicks in 🙂
Morphine is certainly wonderful stuff – I had it after my c-section but they refused to give me anymore than 2 days 😦
This may sound thick, but why does bleeding go on for weeks? I’ve googled it but it just say it’s normal – seems odd to me as I don’t know of any other surgeries that this happens with?
Cath,when gluing clear parts I recommend you use Humbrol Clearfix a liquid adhesive that prevents clear plastic components (cockpit canopies) from frosting. To apply, just dip a cocktail stick into the solution then run a thin line across the area that is to be stuck.
Just wanted to be the first to offer practical assistance rather than solace – there’s a tube in the post.
“Have you seen info here on aircraft”
Cath’s little toy model has to be assembled with three other EU citizens/patients
A French super dooper fighter, wouldn’t be much cheaper.
September 8, 2009
Brazil today announced that it had selected the French-built Rafale fighter over Sweden’s Gripen and the U.S. Super Hornet, a landmark decision likely to impact the international market for fighters. The plan to buy 36 aircraft could be worth up to $7 billion.
i think you should try and enlist the staff on your ward as they make their rounds (am betting they’ll mostly be women): get them to help you piece it together and fly it and stuff.
bet you they pull out their own from under their fake knitting baskets at the front.
I hope everything goes well and you have a speedy recovery.
Why the Airfix version? Why not get together with the other ‘ladies’ and put together the real thing?
I think this could make a great film…
Good luck Cath, I’m sure everything will be fine with the Class A’s and the gin. I think we will need to see a picture of the airfix model though….
Yes! Picture please!
The image of Cath in hospital, morphined up and drunk on gin, trying to make her model Eurofighter…!
I don’t think patriarchy can be defeated simply by women aping men’s (or, in this case, boys’) behaviour and interests. Why not find a happy medium, for example by knitting a Eurofighter, or making a lovely bunch of Airfix flowers?
I’ve figured this out: you take a chemistry book, get together with the other ‘ladies’, raid the hospital pharmacy and create a ward bomb factory to send munitions on to Our Boys and Ladies in the Front Line.
Best wishes for next week, Cath, and a speedy recovery.
Hope this helps a little:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GOe670xcKhk
good luck cath and here’s to a speedy recovery! wishing you the very best
sian x
“Why not get together with the other ‘ladies’ and put together the real thing?”
I remember looking at a radar in Azerbaijan, and I asked, “does it work” and my Soviet friend said “vacuum-tube technology”.
War is an illusion, it doesn’t matter how good the EF is,
if enough of them go into Russian aerospace, Russia is not going to scramble inferior models of anything, they will Ctrl+Alt+Del our aerodromes into molten lava.
Good luck with your surgery!
And knitting is fabulous. You should take it up.
Knitting is also guy thing on the west coast of Ireland and amongst sailors generally.
‘On the islands, patterns were zealously guarded, kept within the same clan throughout generations. They were often used to help identify bodies of fishermen washed up on the beach following an accident at sea. An official register of these historic patterns has been compiled, and can be seen in the Aran Sweater Museum on the Aran Islands.’
http://www.clanarans.com/ca/catalog/clanaran_history_sweats.php
Dangerous, raw climatic conditions, a survival system of total self-sufficiency,
A problem with a ship’s engines was and to some extent still is, game over.
I’ve just come out of hospital and stayed in a mixed ward. The men were treated generally much better than the females. They were given their medicene’s/painkillers first plus the teas and meals. I wasn’t alone in noticing this. My partner reckoned it was a policy because the men would be likely to get more aggressive. I didn’t witness male aggression but another female did.
We had to share toilets and showers with the blokes as well.
I did get the same medical treatment as the men. Couldn’t fault that. But would love to know if a study has been done on this.
I assume you’re staying on an all female ward and good luck with the recovery.
Hmm according to a book I’ve got there is no reliable recorded instance of Aran sweaters before 1937. They became fashionable in the 1930’s, it’s questionable whether they predated that though. Gansey/Guernsey knitting and Fair Isle knitting have a much better established history and Guernseys were traditional fishermen’s garments thanks to their seamless construction and being made of oiled wool, which made them waterproof.
Knitting is relaxing though, maybe you should give it a go Cath, once you’ve finished the eurofighter.
(that’s enough knitting – ed)
Ack gawd that’s why she’s reading the Lady magazine, for the knitting patterns!
Do you know, I find sewing (as in fixing clothes, it’s the recession don’tcha know and hence BFW has been known to actually fix clothes when buttons have come off etc.) quite relaxing. Gah, please don’t revoke my feminist card!
Yes, Gregory! My ex-Navy Father tought me how to knit.
My mother taught me more useful skills, like how to talk, read, question…